8:45 a.m. — I am sitting in the car, in our neighbors’ driveway. Our oldest is taking care of their dog while they’re gone for Thanksgiving, and since it was raining this morning I drove her down instead of making her walk. (Because I’m so nice.) Anyway, while she’s inside taking care of the dog, I turn on the car radio.
It’s tuned to one of the Christian radio stations. Immediately I hear the unmistakable sound of “The Christmas Shoes.” Aaargh! Quickly, I lunge for the “seek” button. The radio’s tuner finds the next station, on which I hear the unmistakable sound of the beginning of . . . (wait for it) . . . “The Christmas Shoes.”
People, we cannot let this happen in America.
If you’re not familiar with this particular bit of holiday confectionary, lemme splain just a little. It started as a piece of E-mail glurge. Maybe the first E-mail glurge, I don’t know, but certainly an early one. “Glurge”, in case you don’t know, is the name for those cheesy forwarded E-mails you get, usually with a maudlin story, often with animated GIFs of angels and kitties with big eyes, and sometimes with loud, annoying MIDI music of “Just a Closer Walk With Thee” or “In the Garden.” Glurge usually tells us to forward the message to a bunch of people to prove that we really, really, really love God.
“Christmas Shoes” is the first (and to my knowledge, the only) E-mail glurge to get turned into a CCM song AND a made-for-network-TV movie (starring Rob Lowe). It even spawned a sequel (starrring Neil Patrick Harris AND Rob Lowe).
Well, I do really, really, really love God. So much so, in fact, that I take what he says seriously:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, ESV)
Let’s look at “The Christmas Shoes” and other glurge in light of this verse. Lovely? Uh uh. Commendable? I don’t think so. Excellent? Nope. (Oh, but remember, “It’s for Jesus, so it doesn’t matter.”) Praiseworthy? Not in my book.
Sappy, cheesy, mediocre, manipulative, syrupy–yes. But none of those things are commended in the Bible, that I can recall.
Just say no to glurge.
10 responses so far ↓
1 Mo // Nov 28, 2008 at 14:12
Not enough A’s in AMEN for this. Right with you there. Fortunately, I have never even heard “Christmas Shoes” … but I’ve heard enough about it to steer waaaay clear.
2 SmockLady // Nov 28, 2008 at 19:49
Oh, Mo! (big breath, hold, read fast)
Little Boy in line at store on Christmas Eve holding pair of red slippers for Dying Mama doesn’t have enough money to pay for them so Irritated Guy (Rob Lowe) behind him gets teary at the story Little Boy tells Clerk and pays for the shoes so Little Boy can run home and see Dying Mama before she dies so she can wear the slippers to meet Jesus.
(and release, breathe)
3 Cap'n Whook // Nov 29, 2008 at 22:38
No shirt, no shoes, no service?
So THAT’S why the Pope wears red shoes!
4 mamalang // Nov 30, 2008 at 1:36
I hate this song. And the movie. PB, she loves it. Argh.
5 vrouw_jonker // Dec 2, 2008 at 8:25
I really did like the story of the Burlap Bag Boy, though.
6 RevJATB // Dec 2, 2008 at 13:50
‘Tis done, Vrouw. And what a sad, sad tale that was. Perhaps if we save up enough pull-tabs from our aluminum beverage cans?
7 cancerman // Dec 2, 2008 at 18:50
I saw a collection for bottle tops the other day. How stupid can people be?
BTW I heard the shoe song today.
8 cancerman // Dec 5, 2008 at 17:56
Taking inspiration from this song, I quit my job today.
9 RevJATB // Dec 5, 2008 at 20:49
Seriously, or did you just post that to see if I’m still reading the comments?
10 Chef // Dec 6, 2008 at 8:50
Knowing CancerMan, probably both but he did in fact quit his job yesterday. You will love the story, so we’ll try to call this weekend or next week.
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